Frustration with a capital F

OK, so it has been awhile... Chalk that up to the beginning of school starting.  It's true what they say, "There's no tired like the 'first week of school teacher' tired."
That being said, I have still been sticking to my plan, and although I did a weigh-in on the 3rd Wednesday of Aug., I didn't have time to blog.  Yeah, that's how it is for me for 10 months out of the year-- if it isn't school related, I probably don't have time for it.  Good thing I REALLY love what I do! :)

SO, let's cut right to the chase.  I really don't want to talk about it much, so here it is: 286.  I just don't get it.  If I had been eating whatever I want, indulging in ice cream and all of my faves, then I would expect this.  But I'm not!  I'm eating lots of protein, few carbs and drinking water and yet I STILL gained a ton of weight.  At this point I'm almost back to where I was at the start of this thing on June 30.  No, it's not muscle that I've gained b/c I don't work out.  Gross!  Yeah, yeah... I should incorporate exercise into my daily routine.  Did ya read paragraph 1??  LOL

I have a regular appointment with my weight loss doctor on Saturday.  It is a 6 week check up and to be where I am today after 6 weeks since my last visit-- not good.  I'm sure we'll talk about it and he might have some suggestions...

This is so beyond frustrating.  I am so tired of this struggle.  Y'all, it has been going on since the 3rd grade when my mom first took me to Weight Watchers with her.  THIRD GRADE.

OK.  So that's where I am today.  We'll see how this unfolds and I will keep you posted!

Weigh- in Wednesday: Aug. 6, 2014

We'll just keep this one short and sweet: today's weight is 278.4.
The scale didn't move much in a week, but it did move, and it moved in the right direction.  (This is why I know that I can't do weekly weigh-ins.  The movement on the scale is something to celebrate, but my brain can't wrap itself around the fact that it isn't a "big" number.  Sometimes I need to give my brain a beating!)

So in TWO weeks when the next weigh-in comes around, the numbers should look a little different, I hope.  I certainly have not gone off of my program at all.  Now, I was in bed sick for 2 days last week which means I didn't feel like eating, but that also means I didn't cheat because I didn't feel like eating!  But, you have to eat to lose weight.  It's one of those conundrums of life I just don't get but I accept!  LOL

Anyway, I found this visual and lest you think I'm complaining about losing a pound, I am not:

Something some of you know but some of you may not is that I also struggle with depression.  I think I've probably struggled with it most of my life, but it really came to a head after my mother passed away and finally, a very kind doctor said that he could give me something to take for that and that it was "OK", that I'm not the only one that has to take a medicine to help with my mood.  (OK, this is a story for another time... I do have a point here.)  So, sometimes, when I have weeks or times along my health journey (I refuse to call this a 'diet'.  'Diets' end.  This will not end for me.  I have to eat like this for the rest of my life.)  when I am not seeing results like I'd like to be seeing, I tend to get a little down in the dumps.  I do tend to turn more and more to my Young Living Essential Oils now to help me out, but I also look for motivation online.  I'll leave y'all with this one today because it is one that keeps coming back to me, and I think it keeps coming back to me for a reason!  

Thanks for reading!

~Erin~

I've only been on my "renewed" journey for 5.5 weeks now. 

Why living in a high carb world just sucks

 Y'all, it is NOT easy eating low carb in a high carb world.  Yes, there are plenty of Pinterest boards, Facebook groups, etc., but when it comes down to it, let me tell you a couple of the ugly, UGLY truths about it: 1) when you are out and about and you need to eat low-carb, your options are really limited.  Think you'll just grab a salad?  OK, well you better check the carbs in that salad dressing!  Those croutons?  Those are nothing but carbs!  2)  Low-carb food is more expensive than high-carb food.  Just like all of the other healthy options at the grocery store or at restaurants, the stuff that is the best for us is the stuff that is the most expensive.  Do you want to know one of the reasons I really put back on 57 pounds last year?  I couldn't  afford to eat right.  And you know what really, REALLY scares me?  What happens if I can't afford to eat right for much longer?  (My husband has been out of work since January 2014.)  3)  Eating out is not fun.  Situation:  Your friends want to have a girls' night out at an Italian (Mexican, American, any kind of) restaurant.  But you're a low-carber.  So you have to go online and scan the menu so you know ahead of time what you're going to order.  And you have to know HOW you're going to order.  Because you have to order like Sally Albright in "When Harry Met Sally."

Case and point:  This just happened 2 weeks ago when my husband and I went to dinner one Friday night at a seafood restaurant.  (not a chain restaurant, so don't try to guess which one)  I researched the menu ahead of time and there were a couple of things that sounded good, so when we got there, I decided that I'd try my "Sally Albright" out on the waiter and see how it went.
Waiter: Have we decided?
Me: I have a question. On the combo, can I get the catfish and shrimp grilled?
W: yes.
Me: OK, then here's what I'd like.  I'd like the catfish and shrimp combo, please, grilled, but no butter and very easy on the seasoning.
W: No problem.  And what 2 sides would you like?
Me: Actually, can I just get a dinner salad instead?  I need to watch my carbs?
W: (looking at me like I'm from another planet)- so, no fries or anything?
Me: Not unless you have a no-carb variety!  (laugh, laugh)
W: Would you like your salad with your meal or before?
Me: With my meal please.

And scene.

I seriously just want to eat like "normal" people when I go to a restaurant.  Sunday lunch is 'almost' normal because we go to the same place every week and I get the #3- scrambled eggs with cheese and crispy bacon.  Not a carb in sight!  Just like a normal person!

So I wonder... Is this how vegetarian and vegan felt "way back when?"  If so, is there hope for the ever growing population of low-carbers?  (there are more of us than you think!  Trust me! )  I certainly hope so!  It would be so awesome to have more low-carb options available at restaurants and stores-- you know, options that don't require that I take out a 3rd or 4th job!

~Erin~

Update time (2 days late)

OK... let the beatings commence.  I know, I know... I'm a couple of days late with this blog post.  Most of you follow me on Facebook and so you know that I saw my weight-loss doctor on Monday and when I returned home, I posted that my quarterly blood work was great and that I'd blog about it later.  I guess I didn't know that 'later' would mean 2 days later.  Sorry.  Let's just say that "life happens" and life REALLY happened to me yesterday.  I feel really bad even complaining about it because I can name who are going through legitimate health issues, personal struggles, and other things that are a bazzillion times worse than my own issues, so I'm just going to let it go and move on.

(You were expecting Elsa from "Frozen", weren't you?)

So, let's get to the update.  I'm going to "Keep it real" and throw out some numbers that are pretty embarrassing for me to admit but I'm making progress that I'm proud of, so that's what I'm focusing on!  

June 30- weight 292

July 11- (first visit to Dr.)- weight 287.0

     measurements: waist: 44

                            hips:   57

                            chest: 49.5

                            neck: 15.5

July 28 (17 days between Dr. visits)- weight 279.3  That is 7.7 lbs down since the last visit and 12.7 lbs. down since June 30.  Please excuse me for a brief moment of happy dancing!

      

      measurements: waist: 43 1/2 (- 1/2 inch)

                             hips: 55 (- 2 inches)

                             chest: no change

                             neck: 15 (- 1/2 inch)

So, these are the kind of numbers that really, REALLY keep me going. Now, you may also remember that I had quarterly blood work done to check my thyroid levels.  Of course, it was a full blood panel, so there were other things that these numbers would show, so when the doctor came in, there was a bit of nervousness, and then he said these words, "Your numbers look great.  There's really nothing we need to talk about."

Not sure I heard that correctly...

WOW!  I was elated!  After not really focusing so much on what I was eating for almost a year, I have to admit that I was a little worried that my blood sugar numbers would be high or that the markers to indicate the risk for developing diabetes would be high.  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  Both numbers were normal, and in fact, the marker to indicate the risk for developing diabetes was on the low side of the "very low risk of developing diabetes."  I cried when I read this when I got home.  See, my sweet Momma always worried over me when she was alive.  She didn't want me to become diabetic.  She saw what it did to her sweet baby brother and my brother and sisters saw what it did to her later in life. (she was type 2)   I wish she were here to see me today, but I know that she must be proud.  I certainly hope she is.  I believe she is.  

And so I want to leave you with this picture.  I bought this necklace at the end of the school year, knowing that at some point I'd be re-starting my journey.  Before you ask, I bought it from Origami Owl.  My friend Shannon Holliman is a consultant and her contact information is www.shannonholliman.OrigamiOwl.com.  So, I chose the word "believe" as a reminder to myself to believe in myself, even when it is hard, even when the scale isn't moving, even when I want to quit.  The pink and black 'jewels' are my 2 favorite colors.  I wear this most days and when I reach up and tug at it, when I see it in the mirror, and finally when I take it off at night, it is that gentle reminder to believe.  And now, it is that reminder that others, including my Momma, believe, too.

~Erin~

Thursday thoughts

Ok, ok... So, I missed yesterday's posting of my weigh-in, but I have a good excuse.  I've been attending an AP French Language and Culture Institute workshop this week from 8:00-4:30 and yesterday, I had every intention of coming home and writing.  But, that just didn't happen.  My stomach revolted against me yesterday and I just didn't feel well at all yesterday.  So please forgive!

I did weigh-in yesterday and here it is: 279.8.  That means that since this journey started on June 30 that I am down 11 pounds!  Can I get a WOOHOO, people??  :-)

With that being said, I had really built up in my mind that the number was going to be even lower, so here is what I've decided to do from here on out.  I'm going to weigh on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of the month.  I think that seeing a 2 week progress is going to be more motivating to me than seeing small progress every week.  Some of you are probably different and want to see every little tenth of a pound difference as it comes off.  That's what makes each of our journeys special and unique.  For me, with such a long way to go, I know that I can get discouraged really quickly, so I will keep to the twice monthly weigh-ins.

OK- a follow up to last week's post about how I gave up Diet Coke.  I neglected to mention that I did not have any of the side effects that are typically noted with caffeine withdrawal.  I didn't have any headaches, which was what I really feared, nor was I especially tired.

Now this week, since I was keeping to more of a 'working' schedule (getting up at 5:30 and working from 8-4:30), I wanted something that would help keep me energized since I was no longer drinking Diet Coke.  I do not drink coffee and I don't like iced tea.  Hmmm... what to do.  Well...  I turned to my Young Living Essential Oils and in my reference manual, I read than a drop of Frankincense and a drop of Peppermint on the soles of the feet in the morning would help to keep me energized throughout the day.

These 2 oils are going to keep me energized? For realz?

Let me tell you- if you told me this at this time last year, I would've laughed and reached for a 5 hour Energy drink or something super unhealthy.  But I have seen how the Young Living Oils have worked in the lives of my friends and already in my life, so I gave it a try.  Y'all, IT WORKED!  I did not get overly tired or feel like I needed a nap during the day.  I was able to get through my work each day and even run a few errands, watch TV with my husband at night, and then go to bed at 10:00 pm and get a good night's sleep.  

Next up, I will be trying a combination of oils to help with appetite control.  Stay tuned, friends!

How I have kicked my addiction to the curb

Hello.  My name is Erin.  I am an addict... a Diet Coke addict.
If given the choice of what to drink, I would always, ALWAYS choose Diet Coke.  Breakfast?  Diet Coke!  Lunch?  Diet Coke!  Dinner?  Diet Coke!  It doesn't matter- I'm drinking Diet Coke!  At school, I even have the following sign in my classroom:

I have a very refined Diet Coke palate.  I CAN very definitely tell the difference between Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi so don't even think you're going to try to slip THAT one past me!  Traveling up North is the worst because it is so hard to find restaurants that serve Diet Coke, except for the good old Golden Arches!  Even locally, though, I will always ask the waiter/waitress if they serve Coke products and if they say 'no', I immediately make a mental note to not return to this restaurant!  (if you think I'm joking, ask my husband about the Buffalo Wild Wings incident!)  Got the picture?  I LOVE DIET COKE!! 

Well, I knew that re-starting my health journey I was going to need to start drinking more water and try to start drinking less Diet Coke.  I really, REALLY didn't want to do this, but I thought I would at least give it a try.  I have also been trying to incorporate the use of essential oils more and more (which is another blog post for another day!) and decided that I would try the lemon essential oil in my water.  Now, let me make this clear, I am using Young Living Essential Oil.  It is therapeutic grade essential oil. The stuff you buy at the grocery store is not and should not be ingested.   (If you want more information on Young Living oils, please email me at starsfan9@gmail.com)  Now, lemon essential oil will break down plastics, so I needed to drink out of a glass water bottle.  I purchased a really cool glass water bottle at  Market Street, added my water, 2 drops of the lemon essential oil, and I gave it a try in the mornings as part of my morning routine.

My glass water bottle and Young Living Lemon E.O.

Now, something really amazing started to happen.  As the day went on, I found that I wasn't as hungry in between meals as I used to be.  ME!  The big girl on the health journey wasn't hungry!  What was happening?!?!  Well, one of the benefits of lemon essential oil is that it helps with appetite control!  Then, a REALLY strange thing happened.  Dave and I went to dinner and I ordered a Diet Coke, as was my habit.  I hadn't had one all day, and I thought I deserved one!  Well, it tasted funny!  I chalked it up to the restaurant having a bunch of bad syrup or something and ordered water instead.  As the days went on, I continued my lemon water regimen in the morning and continued to drink water throughout the day.  And guess what?  Every time I have tried Diet Coke, it has tasted absolutely horrible, whether it be at a restaurant, from a can, or from a 20 oz. bottle.  

So, I decided to see if this sudden aversion to Diet Coke was  only  an aversion to Diet Coke.  I tried to drink some Diet Sprite one morning because my tummy was a little bit upset.  Nope- tasted gross.  

I'll admit, I'm a bit sad about this.  Diet Coke and I have had such a deep relationship for so long.  I feel like I'm breaking up with one of my best friends.  Plus, having a sign that says, "This classroom runs on love, laughter and lots of water" just doesn't carry the same punch!  

But, on this journey called life, we often have to say 'goodbye' to toxic friends because they are just bringing us down, bringing negativity into our lives, and perhaps keeping us from being who we were intended to be.  I guess it is no different with my 'friend' Diet Coke, now is it?

Weigh-in Wednesday

So, on many social media outlets (FB, Instagram, Twitter), Wednesday is "Woman crush Wednesday."  OK, let me say right here that I'm not quite sure who made up all of these theme days, but I think they've gotten a little out of hand!  LOL

For this blog, I will be doing WEIGH-IN WEDNESDAY as a way of keeping myself accountable and keeping you updated. Without further delay...
     - started this journey on June 30 at 292  (I hate that number- but, I'm "keepin' it real!"
     - had my first appointment with my weight loss doctor on July 11- officially weighing in at 287
     - Today is July 16 and the scale says 282.  FIVE POUNDS SINCE SATURDAY!!!  SHUT.THE.FRONT.DOOR!!!!!

   Doin' the happy dance!!

I have been asked quite often, "How do you do it?  You must be so strong and have so much will-power!"  I really don't have a lot of will-power, but I do have some tricks I'd like to share and I'm going to tell you what has worked for me.  Now, it is important to remember: I am not a doctor.  Before you actually start a weight loss program of your own, you need to consult with your physician.  As you will see in what I am about to tell you, I am closely monitored by doctors and have regular blood tests.  

"How do you do it?"- In January of 2012, I began my journey with a consultation with a weight-loss doctor in Plano, Dr. Obi Chukwuocha who has a practice called Worthy Weight Loss. (www.worthyweightloss.com) When I say that I see a weight loss doctor, a lot of people think that I am talking about a surgical doctor or that I've had weight loss surgery.  I have not had, nor do I plan to have weight loss surgery.  While that is an option that works for many, many people, it is not an option that I wanted to consider.  (I have a healthy fear of surgery and high medical bills!)  So, back to "how I do it"- I see Dr. Obi once every 6 weeks.  He monitors my weight, vitals, measurements, body composition (% fat vs % muscle), etc.  He does not have a prescribed 'diet' that I have to eat or a list of required foods, which is probably why this works for me. The program is basically this: high protein, low carb, no white carbs.  That means no rice, no pastas, breads, etc.  Now, there are some low-carb tortillas and breads that can be used and he provides a list of those, so it is not like I don't ever get to have bread!  

Here is the big key:  breakfast must be a minimum of 30 g. protein and no more than 5 carbs.  Try that!  It is HARD!  I'm all about the protein part, trust me, but you'd be surprised what had carbs in it!  Want milk with your breakfast?  Check the carbs.  You'll be surprised!  Even soy and almond milk are high in carbs.  Juice?  All sugar, so high in carbs.    Read the nutritional labels of the products in your home just to see the carb amounts.  It will shock you!

So, after the 30 g. protein/5 g. carb breakfast, the rest of the day can be spent how I want to get to these totals: 100-110 g. protein and 70-75 g. carbs.  We try to stick to 1,000-1,200 calories, but Dr. Obi encourages me to focus more on the protein and getting every single bit of it in, so sometimes, calories may go over a bit, and he's OK with that.

This is what works for me.  It has worked in the past and it is working now. I'm not kidding you- it is NOT easy.  There are times that I get really sad because I really want to eat something "carby" that someone else is eating.  While I know that "all things in moderation" is a good rule of thumb, I honestly don't know when to stop, so for me, I just have to deny myself these super carby treats.  I have found some great substitutions and hope to share some of them on this blog in the future.

Please leave comments, questions, encouragements in the comment sections.  I really hope there are people actually reading this!

Have a good one-

Erin